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Community, Connection and Containment

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We know that in the world of nature mammals are meant to travel in packs or exist in groups.  Survival is a basic imperative, and humans–also mammals–are not much different! 

All of our ancient ancestors survived in community.  There was not a sense of ‘going it alone,’ but rather that they were a part of something bigger. There was a cohesion and connection in communities. If one party needed help, the larger group would help because their survival was interdependent. 

Fast forward about a thousand or so years, and we have our modern society.  Our brains are not really programmed to handle all the stimulation that we encounter daily.  We are out of sync with natural rhythms (aka go to bed with dark, rise with sun). I like to imagine a prehistoric caveman walking down my street, and what on earth they would think as they took in the world around them. Frankly, they would probably not be even remotely able to process and make sense of the world around them.  

Our brains simply cannot keep pace with the stimulation in our lives.  Yes, we adapt, have resilience, and all of that. But the day-to-day is a LOT.  

Now let’s consider the power of community and connection.  

We expect our brains to manage about a million things but then switch gears and zoom in on a particular aspect of our life (i.e., our homes).  While arguably some of this organizing can give energy and life force, it also can be mundane and understimulating. 

So what happens when you meld the power of connection and community with the mundane? 

Turns out, a lot.  

1-Our dopamine systems get a nice hit when we have social engagement.  Dopamine is part of the feel good chemical structures that help fuel our tanks.

2-Reduces isolation.  Back to mammals and groups and all of that.  Imagine a wolf that is separated from its pack when resources are meager and predators are all around.  That animal is going to feel some stress in its system.  It will have to be hypervigilant to stay safe. It cannot rely on the senses and protection of the rest of the pack.  And so that animal–mammal–is going to either be undernourished or stressed in some significant way that makes it more vulnerable.   

When we are isolated and alone in our work, there is no other party to say, “I see you struggling. I’m here. How can I support you?” Quite simply, there is safety in the support and structure of a co-working space.  Co-working does not mean “I have to solve everybody’s problems.”  But it does mean that “I can witness your struggle and ask what you are needing.” 

3-There is a feedback loop between you and the others.  This feedback loop can encourage and support.  And sometimes we don’t need people to ‘fix’ our struggle.  There is incredible power in saying, “I see your struggle.”  

4-It helps to both contain and ‘hold’ the struggle that we can have when working in isolation.  Often in isolation, the sense of overwhelm can feel like a brick wall.  But when there is a group that overwhelm can be dispersed a little bit.

5-When that overwhelm is dispersed, it allows your nervous system to regulate.  A regulated nervous system is always going to be more productive in a way that feels good than one that is either frozen, or hypervigilant, or worried.  

In Emerge From Clutter™, one way we maintain community and connection is through co-working calls.  In these calls, you will be with your fellow cohort members, a professional organizer as well as myself.  There is no judgment. No shaming. No fixing. And no telling you what to do.  

But there is witnessing, the regulation of the group, support and kindness. 

And couldn’t all of us use a dose or two of that?

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